xo

Yesterday I returned from a nice, long weekend visit with my favorite person. We live in different cities and are fond of airplanes.

He is the x to my o.

My Friday started with what was supposed to be an early morning flight. Fueled by two hours of sleep and a banana, I drove to the airport in the dark and blearily found my way to my gate. Prior to my arrival, I'd decided coffee would not be a good idea.

What I wanted was rest--not the jittery effects of a tidal wave of caffeine on an empty stomach.

At first it seemed that all would be well. Every time I happened to sit down, my eyes drifted closed. But sleep was fitful. My mind kept returning to the same terrible dream: my family and I were contestants in a competition for circus performers. Our trapeze act was a failure. Surely we would lose the contest. I kept jolting awake.

By 6 a.m. I was on the plane and in my seat. Next to me was a woman with a chewing gum addiction. I closed my eyes. The nauseating smell of her chemically-flavored fruit gum filled the air between us. At 6:10 the pilot announced that rain in Chicago would delay our departure by half an hour.

I began A Farewell to Arms and tried to watch the sun rise a little.

Those hours are lost to me. I don't remember the entire first chapter, and I was much too tired to appreciate the sunrise. Soon after I took this picture I drew my legs up onto my seat, wrapped my arms around them, rested my head on my knees, and fell into a bubble-gum scented slumber. Two hours later the plane took off.

My body was a bundle of aches when I woke up and managed to untwist myself. I was nervy and trembling with hunger. I felt even more fatigued. Usually I like to watch the clouds from my window and try to guess what city is below when I'm flying. This time, I made a pillow for myself with my jacket and drooled on it. Next time I'll opt for the sleep-deprived headache. Or else I'll teleport.

And I'll certainly never visit the circus again.

The plane was lashed by wind and rain, but landed safely after an hour. One interminable train ride, a short but wearying walk, and three flights of stairs later, I fell into an hours-long afternoon nap in the home of my companion. I didn't dream of anything.

When I woke up I was still tired, but I didn't mind anymore. For there was someone to make me feel better.